Because I'm out of my freaking mind, that's why.

Epic fail or experimental adventure, remains to be seen.

It's only the steroids and pain meds talking, I know. Synthetic courage?

Maybe.

Most likely.

But...what the hell. . .

I've got fifteen days left of infusions in addition to my surgical recovery and if I don't do something with my brain in the meantime- it's a long way down. Looong way down.

For anyone who's interested: last year's fun and games, preserved for posterity. You can see the official victory socks there. They're very cool. Maybe I'll get to wear them again on November 30th.

Chris (Baty) be with you. . .

~bru

(if you're looking to add me on the site, I'm there. Just search for February.)

PS: A bonus from last year for all you wingnut Wrimos: my response to Chris Baty's plea not to injure the NaNo angels by editing words out of your manuscript during November.

With cartoon.

Don't injure the angels, people.

Enjoy.

Apologies for the Injury of Angels Unknown, by February Grace

Dear Nanowrimo Angels...

Ugh. So sorry.

You see I just read what Chris Baty said on the main page about how, and this is too good not to quote here:

"There's an old folk saying that goes: Whenever you delete a sentence in your NaNoWriMo novel, a NaNoWriMo angel loses its wings and plummets, screaming, to the ground.

Where it will likely require medical attention. "

Oh, the injuries I have inflicted unawares to those of a more celestial nature.

I can only beg their forgiveness now with promises to TRY (I know I know, "do or do not there is no try..." Freaking smart Muppet. He never goes away...) not to erase any more sentences.

It's just so hard. With my 12 year history editing other people's work for collaborative writing groups (none of which I have sadly ever been paid for but I digress) I tend to edit my own writing as I go. Even last year writing 50K words in 10 days to write my first Nano novel, it was almost completely edited by the time I was done and I didn't have to go back to do much to it to have a completed draft.

Now, I see the error in my ways and I can only pray that during this most holy Writer's month of Nano (Chris be with you...) that I can repent and be forgiven.

I will injure no more angels. No matter how much it injures me.

Solemnly,
February

Miles to Go

"The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep."~Robert Frost

Hi everybody...

I look in my inbox and I see emails from wonderful people that I have owed replies to for a couple of weeks now - and I apologize for that. I mean to make amends soon.

In case I don't get to right away though I want to explain here for everyone who has wished me well.

I've been really sick.

The situation that began with several incorrectly done root canals led to widespread infection that necessitated four extractions, which due to the nerves being in the sinuses resulted in three sinus communications (one of which is still not completely healed and this started in August) and at some point it became osteomyelitis and also did a massive number on my sinuses. For a long while I couldn't eat anything that didn't go through a blender. Remember those Tweets I sent out with the 'how many days since I'd had solid food count'? The record was 23 days. At the worst, I couldn't even swallow water without choking.

I am, as of today, precisely halfway through a six-week course of daily IV antibiotic infusions (apparently "42" is the answer to bone infections as well as to Life, the Universe, and Everything...) which are thusly kicking my ass while barely holding the infection at bay because there's also a piece of dead bone wedged inside my left maxillary sinus.

Had a CT and the ENT surgeon says they have to go in after it. Thursday at U of M that's what they'll do.

It's outpatient- no dramatic thing. I'll be completely out for it, so I won't know what they're doing this time. I'm more concerned about something happening to my eyes than anything else but this is not a situation I have any choice in, they say it's the only way to stop the advance of the infection (which is a big thing.) The surgeon is hopeful for good outcome.

So my apologies for not being around the blogosphere. I have been having my infusions and then coming home and falling asleep. That is it. In between times there have been a couple additional maxillofacial surgeries to remove and reshape bone that shifted down, there may be more later. Stitches are no big deal, anymore. Just an annoyance.

For those who might have wondered, I have written-- very little, but a little, still. Nothing truly new as it's all been continuing storylines for pre-existing characters but I have added at last to the sci-fi series that I write with a few close friends online. I've found if nothing else, that writing my favorite Irishman still makes me happy and I've someone special to thank for that.

You see, in the middle of all this medical stuff, back in September a very dear person to me (who also happens to be, in my opinion, the best writer I've ever known) flew all the way here from Australia to see me. One of his only requests for things to do during his time here (aside from a desire to try authentic American McDonald's food...) was that we might try to write something together in person, since we've been writing together through email for years now. He knew I wanted to quit for all the wrong reasons. He didn't want me to give up on myself.

When someone travels 20,000 miles round trip to visit and only asks to write with you, how can you say no?

I couldn't. So we wrote, and it was an experience I won't forget. I owe him big.

Thanks, M.

I'm still struggling with where words fit into my life. It may always be a love/hate thing for me, I don't know. I've honestly been too sick to make any real decisions and have been taking the days as they come, often in increments of minutes at a time and nothing more.

I wish I had the visual stamina to keep up with every writing blogger I've come across. I do really miss 'all the usual suspects'.

I would post updates here every now and again, when and if I was up to it if I thought people wouldn't be offended if I couldn't go back to reading all the blogs. Maybe I shouldn't worry about it and just do it. If I do update here, it would be sporadic, anyway.

More likely, though, I'll just reorganize it around here a bit, clean it up all nice and shiny to leave here. Once in awhile, maybe I'll just post something I've written before and add it as a page to the sidebar, or post if something that made me think of you all.

In any event, before I close this something's been bugging me: I made a promise to post my entry for The Literary Lab's Notes from the Underground and it was right about the time that the contest ended that my health really went downhill and I didn't get it done.

Even though I wasn't one of the writers who was selected to be included in the anthology (congratulations again to the fine writers who did!) I still want to post it to keep my promise. I'm not sure if I want to do it as a blog post so people can comment or give it a Blogger page instead. But I do want to keep my word.

I also wanted to put in a little 'behind the scenes' info too about it explaining why I chose what I chose to include and how some of the work was transformed from its original version to be included, just for the hell of it. I promise, any such commentary will be minimal and won't be boring.

I hope life is treating you all well and I wish luck to all those undertaking NaNo in just a few days- I can't believe I won't be all coffee'd up and ready to go at 12:01 AM this year. It's usually a bigger event around here than any holiday on the calendar.

My daughter keeps telling me I 'have to try' but I keep telling her I will be three days post-op when it starts and I usually knock out 10k toward my word count in the first 16 hours...that is highly unlikely this year. Or, if I did write who knows what the pain meds would inspire. Hey, maybe I should try it after all. After all she says she wants to try even knowing with her schedule she probably won't 'win' this year. That's inspiring to me. Maybe I'll be a NaNo Rebel and come up with my own twist on the annual festivities. Or I might end up waking up around December 1 saying "What do you mean, I missed it?"

Hope life is being kind to you all! I think of you so much more often than you know.

~bru