The Night Sky

Hey everyone,

I'm going underground for the most part for a little while, probably through New Years. I will hopefully be popping in and visiting your blogs a little, (and there may be a sighting now and then on FB) but I have some revisions I need to work on, some paintings I want to see realized (will post pictures of those) and a book I want to finish reading.

I finally got a decent text to speech program today so that should help with two of those three goals. Above all else, I really need to give my eyes a rest for awhile, I've been pushing them and that's something I don't want to continue to do or I know I will regret it. I'm also still really in recovery mode from the events of the past year physically and it's a slow process. I need to give it time, and I need sleep.

As I wish you all a very Merry Christmas (if you celebrate) and convey my deepest sympathies (if you work in retail right now...been there, done that) it is my sincerest hope that the new year brings you all sorts of wondrous things and joys beyond your imagination.

Before I go, I want to mention a song to you that is pretty much the most significantly meaningful song to me in the world. Ever. It always seems to be on my mind more than ever around this time of the year, with all the talk of peace on Earth...

I've been inspired to write more words than I could count because of this song- and no matter how many times I hear it, it never gets old and always gives me goosebumps when I listen to it.

Note: earlier tonight I had a nifty little video clip inserted here but I don't want to ever infringe upon anybody's copywrite or anything, least of all one of my favorite bands of all time, so you can check the song out by listening to a sample at iTunes. I think it's the best 99 cents I've ever spent there, buying it. I can't even count how many times I've listened to it in the past three years.

The song is called The Night Sky (for WARCHILD) by Keane.

I've even learned to play it on the piano and guitar and sing it often, because it reminds me that the world is a bigger place than we usually remember looking out from our little corner of it, and those who feel the most pain are often the smallest of its inhabitants. It puts things in perspective to a very large degree.

It is, though, as Tom Chaplin (lead singer of Keane) put it when they performed it live, a hopeful song.

The message is really just this: a wish for a better world. That wish is perfectly painted in the words so hauntingly set to music, and it contains a line of lyrics that cross my mind every time I see fireworks:

"...then only fireworks will light the sky at night,
for all the world can see."

Wishing you all a safe, and peaceful time to count your blessings as we head into another year. Happy Holidays, everyone.

~bru

P.S. If you're looking for a good Christmas story to read your kids (or even to give as a gift to someone who could use some encouragement) I have to recommend A Wish for Wings That Work by Berkeley Breathed again. It's been our holiday tradition the past decade to read it every Christmas Eve, I'm going to miss doing that this year. It's a reminder that when we help and are helped by others, even the most flightless of all the birds can still soar among the clouds.

*fireworks picture, taken by me 7/04/10

"...and all the stars wept with her."

A painting, and a story, in one.

I haven't decided if I'm going to put the that single line story (also the title) in lettering across the bottom of the "window frame" yet. Too bad this won't fit on the scanner though, the colors just don't truly come through any other way...you can't even tell that the frame is silver, like her wings.

My (almost) 100th Post, with thanks!

So, there must be a couple I lost along the way because my Blogger thingie tells me that this should be my 100th post. That being the case, I'm calling it 'close enough!' and I wanted to take the time to thank my bloggy buddies and FB friends for all their encouragement and general cheering-on this year.

So I've uploaded a couple short (each is less than a minute) music clips for you all (they shouldn't play automatically I don't think so if you're reading this on a slow computer, you should be able to skip them...I hope I did it right!)

Should you venture a listen, I hope you'll enjoy them. Just a bit of a song, and a picture. An e-postcard, if you will.




The first is set to a photograph I took in my young teens of the view from the yard at my Grandmother's house. Yes, I am playing the piano myself. It's a song I really love by one of my favorite bands of all time (Postcards from Far Away by Coldplay) and this is for everybody, no matter what you're celebrating (or not) this year. No specific holiday referenced or implied! :)

The second is a traditional Christmas song, against the background of my painting Wintersong. I hope that you'll like that too.




It's a big deal for me to get to sing these songs. I wasn't allowed to growing up, and so learning them in my adulthood has been a journey and this year, as you know if you read here with any frequency, it's a bittersweet thing once again.

I'm still trying to find more sweet than bitter, and boy am I packing away the cookies to prove it. I recommend sticking a small candy cane in your hot chocolate and letting it melt, cause I won't even try eggnog...

Oh, and one more thing. I do take even holiday decorating to weird places, but in this case, I think they're cute ones. This is what my living room looks like.




And my personal favorite...


Thanks again for all of your kindness this year, and may 2010 bring you all happiness, health, and lots of satisfying writing adventures!

hugs
~bru

Don't Judge People By Their Covers, Either.

I had a rare chance to go out into a 'normal people' environment on my own last Friday. Specifically, I had a chance to go to Target, because the doctor's office where I had to go literally shares the same parking lot with one.

I LOVE Target. So I took the chance to do something I really never get to do, shop a little on my own. I was tired, and I was in pain (believe you me, nasal endoscopy is never fun time especially when they decide to go all the way into your sinus for a post-operative peek. I was thinking, 'how much cable does that thing HAVE on it?!)

Anyway, I had a really good coupon book and an item I specifically wanted to get- and so I went to Target. Alone. On a Friday.

I often forget just how I look in the 'big glasses'. You see, I wear them when I know I'm going to have a medical procedure because one they give me the absolute best correction I can have and so if I have to sign forms, I have a fighting chance to see most of what they say. Secondly, if my lighter, more comfortable everyday glasses get damaged during a procedure (dental drill goes askew, someone drops something on me...etc, it's happened many times) it'll take four to six weeks to replace them. It actually takes four to six weeks to make any of my glasses, period, ever since the brief honeymoon period last year of normal looking no line bifocals plus contacts had to end due to multiple complications.

So I try not to wear my favorites (even though they correct less than the biggest ones, seen here:

Yes, they are what my doctors call 'disfiguring'. Yes, they are huge and yes, they do give me wicked headaches.

The best pair weighs slightly less than the Brooklyn Bridge, which is exceptionally attractive in something that sits on top of your nose. So I left them home.

Yes, I forget how I look to normal people. Sure, I'm used to playing peek-a-boo with the average curious toddler when they blink at me, startled by the size of my eyes because I look like a refugee from Toon Town. I really do smile (no sarcasm here, I'm totally serious) when kindergartners ask me why I have my crutch or why my glasses are so big. Their mothers usually look like they want to die, but I never mind. Because kids are honest- and I can always deal with that. Often, the exchange makes me day, like the conversation I had at the Polynesian Resort lobby last July with a lovely young lady who happened to have Down Syndrome. She marched right up to me and asked about my eyes and my crutch. She told me she'd had lots of operations on her heart. I said that she amazed me, she was happy to hear it and we both walked away smiling.

I'm slightly less fond of the way that other people act- like the middle-schooler who literally wiped himself on an endcap in Michael's staring at me and the adults who believe that visually impaired= automatically low IQ.

You see, when I go out (and it's rare) most of the time it's to a medical environment, and so most people give me credit for still having a brain behind the big glasses. The general public, not so much.

Don't get me wrong, I know I look a sight. I know that my already large eyes take on truly Powerpuff Girl proportions in these bad boys. I also know I have huge visual field deficits and if you cut me off from the side with your cart, there will be a collision because I just can't see you coming, and if you knock my crutch to the ground (ten points for hitting it? I really think some people keep score) there will be an unholy clatter and even if you don't physically hurt me, the way that you look at me, like I'm in the way and you wish I'd spontaneously combust, does hurt my feelings.

Out of an entire store full of people, and it was packed on a Friday afternoon three weeks before Christmas- two employees and one shopper (bless your soul, Sir, whoever you are...) treated me like a human being with a mind. The rest...well the rest are the reason that I'd really rather just shop online.

I know that I move slowly. I know that I bump into displays and I take awhile to be able to pick up anything that may fall. It's not intentional.

I know your time is valuable. Believe me, so is mine because just getting into the store leaves me exhausted and I'm on a clock. I can't be there long, especially not if I'm alone.

I'm sorry if I take longer to try to read labels that I have no hope of being able to see and then have to take up an employee's time to help me find what I'm looking for. I promise, I am willing to wait my turn for the privilege.

I'm sorry if I slow you down. I hear your heels clicking as you come up behind me, and I really just can't move any faster. I do my best to get out of your way and let you go on ahead of me, but eventually I do have to go through the check out lane. So if I takes me a second to get my card through the swiper, and I can feel the wheels of your cart up against the back of my ankles as you impress upon me the need to go faster, know that I'm going as fast as I can.

If you saw these three people, (and I won't leave the pictures here indefinitely, but they're necessary to make the point) would you realize that they could possibly be the same woman?

Would you think that any one of them could be someone you know online, someone whom you have shared your own work with and maybe even liked a turn of phrase they posted or a piece of art they'd created? Would you realize that all three of these women, on a given day, could be me?

Yep, this is really how they look.

(next picture has been removed)

Better! But looking at me directly (this pic is at an angle) they still make my eyes look too big for my face. Like so:

(next picture has been removed)

Then finally...

(last picture has been removed)

Sure, I look 'normal' without any glasses on. Trouble is, I have no lenses inside my eyes and other structural defects in them as well. So like this, I can't see anything but light, color and motion in the good eye. In the right eye I also have a huge floating blur, like someone smeared Vasoline all over my eye, because the vitreous detached last year and tore my retina (they're waiting for it to happen on the other side...) Like this, I am legally blind, and frankly, I'd rather look funny.

If you realized any/all of those could be me, would it change how you acted? I know for most of my regular readers/buddies here the answer would be no, because you have hearts as big as the whole wide world. But just in case a single person stopping by here on a whim ever would treat someone difference based upon appearances like that, this post is worth writing.

They say don't judge a book by its cover. I'm going one beyond. I'm asking you not to judge a human by its wrapper. Because a lot of us can't help what we look like.

The glasses are bad enough, but this year there's been more. When I speak, you can see that I've lost several upper teeth, even though they're not in the front. Believe me I ain't happy about it. It's not that I am unlike you- I live in a decent neighborhood, my husband is a professional who works in an expensive high rise and has a university degree. We have dental. The reason I'm still missing teeth is that I was so sick from it all that they can't put anything back yet.

One bad dental experience, and this could also be you.

So please don't judge me by that, either. I try not to think about it, or think of it this way. When I was getting my daily infusions in October and November, I met a lot of people who had lost toes, or whole limbs, to diabetes. THAT is a lot worse than a few teeth. But our society is so obsessed with appearance, it seems to be a big thing for other people. Even some members of my family have a hard time looking at me this way.

Me, I try to get over myself. I think of CNN Photojounalist Margaret Moth, one of my heroes. She got shot in the face, never could get teeth back after her jaw was rebuilt on the one side and joked once she was going back to the war zone where she'd been shot to 'look for her teeth'. She never let her challenges, or the change in her appearance hold her back. She still wore her combat boots and black eyeliner. Now that inspires me.

One of the things that really amazed me the other night about being at the pre-show reception with several members of the AMAZING and ANGELIC Celtic Thunder (which I will post more about later) was, when I spoke to them, they didn't seem phased at all by my physical deficits. When I told them about the triumph of getting enough of my vision back to see their show and how I'd counted down the days on the calendar, I got a fabulous response- including a couple really warm handshakes, and a great shoulder hug and high five from Keith Harkin (all his doing, too! I never would have invaded his personal space.) Woo hoo!

Self conscious as I was I forced myself to fully participate in the experience anyway, and they saw me- not my disabilities. Maybe they meet so many people, they're accustomed to it.

I wish that everyday people did as well.

So I'm just asking. As a favor.

The next time you are in a hurry, and someone in front of you is struggling with their cart or straining to try to read something in a store. please, don't get irritated. Just politely go around them, or better still., even more politely, casually ask if they could use a hand. They'll be grateful, and if they decline, there's nothing lost. If they accept your help, then chances are you'll be on your way to your other Much More Important Things To Do faster than you would if you stand there and glare at them.

Or try to run them down with your cart.

~bru

Swept Away by a Story, and Loving It.

You know, for as much as we all talk about writing, commiserate about writing, and do what we can to encourage each other as we all make our own way through this journey that none of us really had much choice in taking (that's a statement I know only a writer could understand) I often forget when I'm reading your blogs that you guys, like me, actually write, well, stories.

Some of you don't post from your work, so while I think of you in theory as writers, I can't look at your blogs and say "Oh yeah, they wrote about a character named so-and-so that I really felt a connection with."

Some of you do, though, and when I do feel connected, wow. It's like getting swept away and falling in love and it makes me swoon to the point of sheer dizziness because it's been a long time since I've read a traditionally published book that had that effect on me. No, most of the characters that have burned their initials into my soul (which is not always as painful as it sounds!) have been either from self-published works, works in progress or completed manuscripts by unpublished writers/from previously published writers' new work.)

A huge surprise blessing for me recently was when Janice Phelps Williams from Lucky Press LLC stumbled upon my blog and commented. She was so kind and encouraging to me and through some great exchanges she's really done so much in such a short period of time to help me think of my art in a new way- writing and painting. I'm so grateful to her. I was already impressed with her work with Lucky Press, getting talented authors and their stories out there into the world, but then I discovered she is an artist and writer in her own right and now I am truly awed by the Awesomeness That Is JPW. She posted the first chapter from The Memory Tree, her NaNoWriMo novel, on her blog and I was literally speechless after reading it. It was almost too real...but so brilliantly told that I can't wait to read more of it.

That was my first recent swept-away moment.

Then, another bloggy buddy's work just took my heart, grabbed a hold of every romantic and sentimental string and started plucking away like an angel.

Let me preface this by saying I'm always nervous when I am about to look at work by a writer who I really like personally and know from the blogosphere. In fact, there are books by about half a dozen such writers on my to-read list but I don't want anybody to know it because I fear the inevitable "What did you think of it?" at the end (and also know that as slow as I have to read these days they'd be waiting a LONG time to find out.) I'm afraid of ever in any way hurting anyone's feelings, so I have to a large extent avoided reading a lot of these books. Last night, I found out just how much I've been depriving myself of, letting that fear hold me back.

It started when I saw a post on Michelle D. Gregory's blog about being true to herself that made me absolutely stand up and cheer (I am sure much to the chagrin of my sleeping neighbors. Sorry, people who are not nocturnal.) I've always been so touched by her kindness when she's commented here and her thoughtfulness in her blog posts. I was intrigued by the cover of her book because, well, it has a handsome bearded guy with a sword on the front of it, and I am so mad crazy about a bearded man with a sword (Oh, Qui-Gon! Beautiful, beautiful Obi-Wan! Musketeers aplenty!!! Robin Hood? Heck yeah, bring it!)

Chelle posted a post (with spoilers so I won't link it directly to that post but you can find it on her blog) about getting to know her through her book, and reading it, I was intrigued. First I was smiling because I love her taste in names for characters (I have, after all, for a long time been writing about a bearded Kieran and an Aiden myself, even if spelling them differently.) So I decided, "heck, no one will ever know. I'll just read the first six chapters of Eldala...no one will be any the wiser if I don't find it to be my personal cup of tea..." (and Michelle, yes, I said 'tea' on purpose :D)

Then I read. And I read faster. And I was thinking wait- this is considered Fantasy? This whole intrigue with Kings and guys with swords, it's not all Hobbits and demons? BOY have I been missing out- I LOVE that kind of thing but the vampires and werewolves, not so much...) I thought that was what was called 'adventure" back when Robert Louis Stevenson was writing it.

Now, I can't wait to order a copy and read the whole thing. It's going to take me f o r e v e r to read it, and I seriously debated holding back on posting about this until I'd finished but knowing how long that could take, I just didn't want to wait. Knowing that she's working on getting this out potentially into ebook (which I wished for, I actually checked last night to see if it was already and if it was I'd have it on my Kindle right now) I wanted her to know that her characters live for me and that her story has touched me, just in its first six chapters, and I want more.

Now, I know that again, taste is all subjective and this is why I don't really do (or even read) book reviews. Everyone has to form their own opinion so you might like, I don't know, different sort of Fantasy. But for me, this story appears to have everything that I want in a book- romance, adventure, lovable characters, and heart. So even though she doesn't know I'm writing this (though she will see it before it's posted) I want to say thank you to Michelle D. Gregory for taking the leap and publishing her story herself. I want to thank her for putting that part of her soul out into the world for people like me to find.

This is a victory for all of us, because it's a story we get to see without having to wait on the 'big guys' to decide that we should.

I want to thank Michelle D. Gregory for her courage, for being an inspiration to me personally as an Indie author and for her honest, thoughtful, and sensitive blog posts.

Yes, there are several books by writer-friends I want to read. Each person has a different marketing strategy (and I won't say who or how but I will say I know each of them agonize over it and are listening to their hearts, and I applaud that.) I find in this case I'm reminded of Goldilocks: personally I find some marketing is too hard, some is too soft, and some is just right. When I come across a book that gets my attention and that I don't see everywhere, well, I want to share.

So it makes me happy when I get a chance to say, hey, check this out, you might just like it, and that's what I'm doing though you know I don't generally plug people's work here because you get that everywhere else you go. But.

Michelle's Kieran has stolen a piece of my heart- and I can't wait to read the rest of his story.

Thank you, Michelle.

~bru

PS There will be more mentions made of writers who have particularly helped/encouraged/inspired me among those in our sphere...stay tuned. There may even be interviews, you never know. There will be Twinkies.

Why I (still) Love Writers

Squeeeeeeeeee!!!

Forgive me for any permanent damage I may have done to your hearing, I really should post a warning in the sidebar that you might need protective earplugs now and again when you visit here.

So. Much. To. Tell. You. AllthatI'm atriskoftalking like Captain. Kirk!

I must take a breath and slow down. I must take it in small bites because if I don't with as few teeth as I have left these days I will choke. But I digress.
Upcoming posts will be about things like why Thursday last was one of the very best nights of my life so far because I got to SEE one of my daughter's dreams come true and I will never forget the look on her face. It will also talk about the kindness of strangers and how there really are still some fairy godmothers in the world. Well, at least in my world.

Also, there will be mention made soon of not judging humans by their outward appearances any more than you really want to judge a book by its cover (taking into account that people can't always control appearances and what marketing departments think should sell these days) inspired by recent experiences I had.

But FIRST! This is good stuff, so keep reading!

For as much whining as I've done (and yes I apologize for when it does devolve into whining) about writers on the 'sphere bringing me down (putting an old ELO song in my head and making me laugh that a friend's cell phone called me "Bruce" through auto-complete today...hilarious!) I have to say that since getting caught up on some blog reading last night thanks to the return of insomnia (where were you during NaNo? Where!?!) I have a few new people to admire, I am still admiring a lot of people I've known since I've started blogging about writing and that one FB friend and one bloggy buddy's brave decisions to share work from their books really blew me away.

First please let me say that any shout-out list that may follow is short and by NO means comprehensive: if I read/comment on your blog with any regularity you can bet that there's something I admire about you or I wouldn't be doing it. Not with my limited eyesight.

On that subject please let me say again that just because I may not be commenting all the time on your blogs doesn't mean I'm not still following/paying attention. It's just with my very limited energy and recent continued setbacks health-wise I have to kind of, well, forgive the rude comparison, but, scan through the commercials like I do on my DVR. But I do pay attention to who is promoting their book(s) (and how they're doing it) and look for things that jump out at me and I read them even if I don't always comment.

One such post this week was written by the very gutsy Natalie Whipple-- and I am sure by now most of you have read it but I'll link it anyway. I came upon it because of a link from Luke Skywalk...I mean, Nathan Bransford's blog. Natalie posted about what it's been like for her to have a book out on submission that's hitting brick walls in the industry. Her post is not for the faint of heart or those who want to maintain their untarnished, childlike dream that they may instantly become the next Stephanie Meyer (did I spell that right? I didn't read Twilight...) or J.K. Rowling overnight.

It hurt to read, it hurt to think of any writer suffering so much for their art. But I have to admire her for her honesty and courage- and her style. She wrote what could have been a really bitter, angry story in a way that isn't. She comes across as humble, genuine, and a total Goddess of Courage and Awesomeness. I wish her every success in the future, I hope that her story finds a home soon.

Do you know what made me angriest, reading her experience?

That people holding the almighty checkbook at the big houses are still very much deciding what I do and don't get to read. And I wondered, how often exactly is this happening? Sadly, I think the answer is all the time- at least among writers who want to go purely the traditional route to publication.

Think about it.

Here is an author with obvious chops, with a stellar agent (he being a Jedi, I am convinced of it...) and even after she worked her heart out with said Jedi and also with an editor who loved it- the book was not given the green light by the bean counters. That is absolutely appalling to me. Outrageous. Frustrating beyond frigging belief.

Why? Because she talked about how after a book is passed over basically by an editor, no means no and after awhile a book gets to the point where it will never see the light of day.

The first thing I thought was NO! Don't let that happen to your story if you love it- publish it so we can see it! Now, not having any idea what she writes it may be a genre I don't even read (like horror: sorry, Stephen King, the only book I own by you is On Writing...) and if I read her book I might love it or who knows, may not have cared for it because you know as they're always telling us it's all subjective (and I loved Elana Johnson's honest post about how that is all well and good until a friend doesn't like YOUR book and why that's not awesome...she's another Goddess Writer) that's not the point.

The point is, I may never know, because I may never get the chance to look it over. That makes me sad.

It makes me even more grateful for the courage of writers who are putting their work out there independently and/or through small presses, and those who run said small indie publishing companies which you can tell is truly a labor of love.

I want to mention some such folks specifically very soon but this is long already, so I'll end here.

So what do you think? Does it upset you to think that the people who hold the purse strings are deciding what we get to read to a great extent? Does this make you more grateful for indie/self-published authors or do you think that since traditional publishing is a business as well as art (yes, I know that, please don't lecture...) that these people know better than we do what's good and what has a right to take up shelf space at Borders?

Consider this post to be continued. . .

~bru

These Are The People In Your Blogosphere...

"...the people that you Tweet each day!"

(with apologies to Sesame Street)

So, NaNo is over (my word count actually went backward at one point- lesson learned, children, keep the draft with your in-line notes CLEARLY separate from your 'in progress' prose file...but then, what's writing another measely 2200 words to replace them before NaNo ends...*thud* translation, no I didn't count them.)

I did type with my eyes closed for a lot of it with far fewer typos than I'd dreaded. At least, when I went back it was usually words slushed together and not unrecognizable gibberish...well, any more than my writing usually is. What surprised me was that not straining to see freed up areas of my brain to imagine details in the scenes I was describing that I otherwise might not have. So, live and learn.

It's been an interesting thing, I've been reading blogs a lot more than I've been commenting or writing posts while I've been NaNo-ing (and I will write a forensic wrap up later on my other blog when I get around to it and sorry to those I still owe comment replies to) but what's been surprising to me lately is how really out there some bloggers are getting with their posts.

I mean, hell, I am never one to tell people not to have an opinion. I have just been at times really shocked by the opinions they choose to express. That's on me- and it's my choice whether I keep reading them or not. In most cases I will: a few, though, I probably won't.

I am starting to realize that there are things about people I will never understand.

I find myself wondering again what all this social media and blogging and all is for since I've decided that I'm not going to try to get published, oh, probably ever. The answer I've come to is that it's worth it because I've met some really nice people in the writing blogosphere. And if you don't think there are different blogospheres...well, trust me, there are and each is a universe unto itself. A lot of people start blogs just to promote their writing and I know many of you are first-timers but I'm an old hand at this. I did it for almost three years to support a lot of non-profit projects before my health completely tanked (going blind was a big problem there) I've blogged group writing projects for a long time. You meet some people that you really love and some...you want to love. You try to love. But at the end of the day they sort of scare you.

Okay, they scare you a lot, and your gut instinct is to smile, nod, and back away very slowly.

I seem to have come to that point in the writing blogosphere. There are a good sized bunch of people that I absolutely cannot imagine not talking to now. There are also a lot of really great folks who I think are as cool as any group you're going to meet socially and who I wish every happiness to but who would say "bru who?" if I fell off the edge tomorrow before I even hit the ground.

Then there are the ones who really set off my warning bells. The ones who would likely turn on a dime the second (if for any reason the Publishing Gods lost their minds, and/or I decided I did want to re-enter the query fray...) I got any interest shown in my writing and would hate me for it. My response...why? Why the hate? The Cosmos does not portion out happiness in the manner of, if I have a cup then you have one cup less than you could have had no matter how many gallons you may already have. It does not work that way.

I don't hate anybody. I don't want to be in competition with anybody. It makes me feel sick to my stomach, and I suck at it.

After spending less time blogging during NaNo (and forcing myself to write more actual writing- this was my own personal Iron Man triathalon- I had to finish it even though I dragged myself across the finish line, literally) I really missed blogging a lot less than I thought I would. Could be because I still popped around and visited a handful of blogs and ended up joining Facebook (which I still am not sure about but have been having some really great interactions on...)

I don't think there's a point to this post. Maybe it's a literary blog post *laugh* nothing really happens in it but pondering and emoting.

But I am pondering, again, if it's worth it.

I'd like to say thanks to those of you who, when I think of you, make me think not just 'yes' but 'hell yes' even if I only post once in a blue moon.

I must be tired- I just typed 'bru moon' and that would be something else entirely.

I spent a whole day just working on a new painting this week and I was so much happier. I spent today writing with friends, and I was so much happier.

If people are going to post about things that upset me or bring me down, even if it's just a general vibe I get the longer I read their blog and not a specific post...I'm going to have to stop reading them. And for the love of Douglas Adams, I beseech you- if I bum you out, then by all means, find a happier place- with my blessing and all my (sincere!)best wishes- and have peace.

Life's too short, you know? There really isn't a moment to waste, on anything that makes you feel like you wish you had the time back at the end of the day.

~bru