Friday, October 21, 2016

New Name, New Look, Fresh Start

"She was born wearing wallflower petals." ~ F.G. 

New blog title: Confessions Of A Lifelong Wallflower

Origin of the title: I was called a wallflower for the first time at the age of twelve, by an adult passing by as I sat by the sidelines at a wedding watching everyone else dance. Granted, I had a broken foot at the time so I couldn't dance even if I'd wanted to but still, I was puzzled by the term because I hadn't heard it before.

After I looked it up, I realized that it fit me like a glove.

I've always been on the outside of the crowd looking in. My writing/publishing experiences felt no different, neither does life now as I battle my daily chronic conditions (which are many) and see the world through surgically altered eyes and glasses thicker than you can imagine.

I am a wallflower, but I'm not ashamed of it now. I'm an INFJ, an introvert, and that is who I will always be.

I see a lot from my vantage point in the corner, though yes, I will confess there have been times when I've been asked to dance. 

I've had my Cinderella moments in life, I must say, and they play in my memory now like an old familiar song; urging me onward through the current battle I'm waging against my own brain to find words to write fiction again.

NaNoWriMo is coming. 

And I'm debating.

Is it wise to try to pressure myself to write 50K words of fiction in November, while still adjusting to a new med tweak and just after marking the one year anniversary of my Dad's death, which happens next week?

Should I go rogue and write poetry, flash fiction, anything and everything I can think of instead of trying another novel?

Should I forget that it's November and just go on about the business of life, or should I just sit down at the keyboard on November 1st, start typing and see what happens? I've never been one for outlining much, anyway, and I'm no longer concerned with writing anything anyone else will ever read. This is something I would be doing just for myself.

The question is, do I really want to?

I'll be pondering that over the next ten days... and then deciding whether I'm all in, or all out, for NaNo '16.

In the meantime... I hope you all have a lovely weekend.